no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
