This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
