Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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