watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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