He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
