it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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