i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize