i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize