Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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