yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
