i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
