my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
