the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
