Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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