Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She's not a foreskin expert like you
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
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