addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
