Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
