Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
