oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
