dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
