I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
