New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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