I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
