Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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