He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
