"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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