garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
