I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
