I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
