remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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