I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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