Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
