Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
