how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
