Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
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