Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
