Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
