I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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