At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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