Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
PANTIES FOUND
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