Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
