U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
