wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
