If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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