I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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