thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
