She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
