it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
