we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
