Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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