people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
