WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
