The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
