As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
