Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
