look no pants
I should be sponsored by Trojan
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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