oh god the rape fog is back!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
