Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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