Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
