I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
