Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
